Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What Makes Me Cry-Dear John

In my opinion, there are two kinds of guys who really screw girls over. The first kind, you can't really blame. They're honest from the beginning. "I'm not looking for a relationship, I've got a lot going on, I'm not good with commitment." Blah, blah, blah. But because girls like to torture themselves they think, "Maybe I could be the one that makes him change . . ." Heads up ladies, this never works. Heads up guys (ha, as if you're reading this) pretend to be one of these guys and then surprise (!!) you're a good guy. Works every time, like the bend and snap. Anyways, when these guys inevitably peace out, I think girls are like "What a jackass but . . . I saw that coming."

Mr. Big was one of these guys. Carrie only landed him because that wasn't real life, that was a movie.

Then there's the other type of guys. These fellows are into girls from the beginning. They confidently talk about the future. They craft detailed, enchanting, unsolicited compliments. They remember random details and think embarrassing quirks are adorable. So what if sometimes they seem a bit weird, or they don't call when they say they will. They always have the a perfect, completely understandable excuse. So when these guys end up to be jerks it's not only incomprehensible, its incorrigible.

I just know John Mayer is one of these guys. How else has he dated every celeb hottie out there? It makes my blood boil to think of him sending whimsical bouquets of flowers, writing personalized songs, crafting the perfect text message to send while he's out of town and then giving some absurd interview to Playboy. That's why Taylor Swift's song about him, Dear John, totally gets to me.

First of all its mean. Like really, really nasty. She's not just saying "you're a jerk" she's saying "what the hell is wrong with you?!?" But then, towards the end, she sings " But I took your matches before fire could catch me so don't look now, I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town." I know its supposed to sound all " haha, I'm over you" but it sounds to me like she's till so, so sad. Tear.

(side note: Taylor's pretty lips and weird pantomine is a bit distracting here but I couldnt find the song to listen to that I could embed. If you're really up for a good cry, just download it.)

I just know Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz and Minka Kelly listen to this song and as they drive home from some Hollywood party and just sob and sob . . . until they pull into the driveway of their Beverly Hills Mansion.

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