Sunday, August 5, 2012

CFC Class- A Public Affair

I'd never consider myself a Twi-hard.  I don't think R Patz is very cute and I wish K Stew would wash her hair once in awhile.  But there's something weird about this whole cheating scandal.  And its not just the the RPatz, KStew, Robsten nicknames.  Let's break it down.

First, in the four years its taken to film the Twilight saga, we've never got official word that Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart are actually together.  They hint around it in interviews but certainly never acknowledge their status as a couple.  I'm not asking for Jessica Simpson TMI word vomit but you think they might be comfortable mentioning each other's name.  When rumors started to fly that they were dating, moving in together, engaged, etc they never felt the need to make a public statement.  Yet as within a few hours of the cheating scandal hitting the web, Kristen issues a mushy, whiny apology to Rob . . . who she mentions by name . . . and then wraps it up by saying " I love him, I love him."  So . . . now you want to talk about it?

We've caught a glimpse of R and K kissing once, maybe twice during their entire relationship.  And even those pics looked like they might just be up in each other's personal space without any actual smooching.  Two young stars who are paparazzi gold and no one could manage to sneak up on them engaged in more frequent PDA?  However Kristen and some director no one had heard of (or at least wouldn't recognize) until last week have a weird makeout sesh against a fence and some lucky photog hits the jackpot and captures every liplock. Just so we're straight- longtime boo who everyone wants you to be with- no pics please.  Old man director with a wife and kids- snap away.  Weird.

I certainly don't expect everyone to know this (that's why this is our lesson plan for today) but People magazine is legit when it comes to celeb gossip.  I'm not sure what kind of deal they've worked out over the past few years but basically they get the deals to most celeb weddings and baby pics by not printing anything unless its been confirmed by a PR rep.  That's why TMZ or Perez can sometimes get news out quicker . . . but you have to wait until People confirms to know if it's true.  Now no celeb wants an article to read "Her PR rep says he's a big douche and total weirdo and she's glad she dumped him" which is why you're going to read "an unnamed source confirms that Holmes was tired of Cruise's big ego and devotion to scientology."  Yet People was immediately reporting all the latest from the "sources" on Kristen's infidelity and Rob's broken heart.  Why go public now?

And finally, Rob runs away to Reese Witherspoon's house.  That's super sweet and all but may I remind you that Reese has never even officially confirmed her pregnancy?  She has her choice in what she keeps private and you would think that helping a platonic friend with a broken heart might be on that list.

What am I trying to say here?  That everyone wants us to know about this affair.  And its freaking weird. Could the entire Robsten saga and affair be conjured up for some spectacular Twilight PR?  Doesn't seem necessary . . . but with the last movie coming out soon all eyes will be on the awkwardness that ensues in the upcoming press tour. And the final Twilight film.  And the sequel to Snow White (who gave that the green light btw?) which will reunite Kristen and her paramour.   With the movies wrapped up, there's no need for R and K to be together.  And a heartbreaking affair gives reason for a definitive end.  

When dealing with the case like this, I always think its smart to reference the rule of Louis Bullock.  When Sandra won her Oscar, the paparazzi were the ones to tell her that Jesse James was cheating.  They followed her moving out of the house, keeping in touch with his kids, and remaining classy by refusing to comment on his horrible taste in tattooed sluts.  Yet a month later she shocks everyone by announcing that she had adopted Louis- and had been a mother for months!  The point is, what we know about a celebrities personal life is what they want us know.  They can keep things (big things!) to themselves if they really want to.

So why such a public end to what used to be a very private couple?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

1 comment:

  1. It was all just a really complicated and impressive way for you to effectively use the word "paramour" in your blog.
    Bravo to Krob for bending over backwards all in the name of CFC!

    But for real, I was always curious as to what their offspring would look like, what him him being so flat-faced and hers being so pointy and rodentlike. Could have been miraculous OR disastrous.