Friday, March 8, 2013

Dear Selena

Dear Selena Gomez,

     All everyone can talk about is how Justin Bieber had pretty much the worst week ever.  Kicked out of the club, arrived two hours late, collapsed on stage- it ain't pretty.  But I'm willing to bet your week has been even worse.  

     Faced with the news that your ex-boo has gone off the rails, you're probably thinking "is it because of me? is he broken hearted? should i call him? should we get back together?"

     The only thing you should be thinking is "Thank God that's not my problem anymore."  Sure, we love the Biebs, but he's a boy, not a man.  As Danny Castellano says:

 "Is this the kinda guy who, if he heard glass breaking in the middle of the night, is he gonna jump out of bed, and say "stay here," and look through the house naked with a baseball bat, or is he gonna hide under the covers with you? Is this the kinda guy who is gonna get grossed out when you give birth, or is her gonna dry your forehead and tell you you look beautiful while all of that disgusting stuff is coming out of you?"

Mmm, probably not.  

So stay strong and keep on rocking that hot new style.

And don't even think of texting him.

                                               Love (you like a love song,)

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